How to Prepare Well for a Smooth Divorce

To ensure a smooth divorce process, some people think you need to have the best lawyer, a negotiation coach, or for your ex to give you everything you asked for without question. And while those things will make the divorce process easier and more pleasant, they only come after having this one thing under control.

When I work with couples, the most successful clients are organized clients. They are on top of their paperwork, they have all of their documents prepared and ready to go, and they have double-checked that they have everything they need.

If you aren’t organized, a whole host of headaches could pop up. You could be treated to additional back-and-forth with your lawyers (which means more billable hours used), delays, or even possibly having to go back to court to have your separation agreement revised. What’s more: if it isn’t corrected, you wouldn't get your retirement settlement. It isn’t as simple as just knowing an account number: you have to be on top of everything.

But how do you do that with everything else going on? Organization is always important when dealing with finances and accounts, but even more so during the divorce process if you want to have a smooth, stress-free divorce.

Know What You Have

Some attorneys will refer to all retirement plans as pensions (even 401(k)s or 403(b)s - and they’re not actually a pension!). If it isn’t identified properly in the paperwork, it can’t be handled correctly. It’s so much easier to address this before it becomes a problem. You don’t want to deal with all of those financial institutions on top of divorce stress. That does not a smooth divorce make!

By being organized and knowing what accounts you have and where you have them, along with any paperwork you must have submitted in order for your settlement to be processed correctly, you’ll have a much more pleasant experience.

Related Reading: Don't Forget to Consider This When Evaluating Your Divorce Settlement

Stay on Top of Your Assets

I recently helped a client with lots of annuities during our time together prepping her financials. She reached out to me when she discovered she had all of these accounts, but she didn’t have the right forms she needed, or it went to a mystery person, and it had to be resubmitted. It was quite a headache. 

Here’s the thing… For an asset to be properly included in the divorce agreement, it has to be specifically identified. Many companies have multiple retirement plans. It isn’t enough to just say “T. Rowe Price.” You need to have specific account name and number information for it to be properly included in your agreement.

Use a System to Keep You Organized

Some people prefer having a digital file of all of their paperwork while others prefer having it in hard copy. It doesn’t matter which one works for you. What does matter is having a system (any system!) that keeps you organized and houses all important documents that you’ve double and triple checked for proper information in one place. That way you can easily access everything all at once.

I highly recommend using a divorce binder. Once you have all of your documentation properly accounted for, it would be a shame for you to misplace or lose something and have to go through the whole process all over again. By using an organizational system, you’ll have everything you need in one place.

Related Reading: How to Stay Organized During the Divorce Process

Hire Someone to Help You Prepare

Just like a football player has a coach specifically for their position on the field, you can hire a coach to help you at your specific juncture in life right now. There are divorce coaches, financial coaches, divorce financial coaches… You name it, you can find support to help you stay organized and ensure nothing falls through the cracks so you have a smooth divorce.

You may also want to schedule a financial consultation with someone (like me, for example!) to help you prepare all the pieces you need that you may not have realized you need. As they say, you don’t know what you don’t know! Hiring support short-cuts the confusion because qualified professionals are trained to know how to guide you. What a relief in the middle of an otherwise uprooted-feeling situation! Find a source of calm for you, whatever that looks like. You’re welcome to schedule a call with me to share where you are in the divorce process and explore options for finding relief.

At the End of the Day…

Having a smooth divorce starts with being organized. If you began your divorce process feeling flustered and chaotic, it doesn’t have to end that way. You can get yourself to an organized, harmonious place absolutely any time. From experience, I’d recommend doing it sooner rather than later — why feel bad if you don’t have to!

Gather your assets, paperwork, and other documentation. Double-check that you have complete information for your accounts. Hire help if you need or use my divorce binder layout with everything you need to have clearly marked (found inside my Divorce Resource Toolkit!) and take responsibility for the assets you need to have a stress-free, smooth divorce.

About Intentional Divorce Solutions

At Intentional Divorce Solutions, we're committed to guiding individuals through the complexities of divorce with an approach centered on empowered choices and respectful outcomes. Our team provides comprehensive support and expertise in several key areas:

• Divorce Financial Planning and Analysis: Providing in-depth financial insights and strategies for a secure future post-divorce.
• Divorce Mediation: Facilitating respectful and balanced negotiations to reach mutually beneficial resolutions.
• Divorce Coaching: Offering personalized support and guidance to help you navigate through emotional and practical challenges of divorce.
• Divorce Support Groups: Creating a space for sharing experiences and finding strength in community support.

Please Note: We focus on providing support and solutions in various aspects of divorce. However, we are not attorneys and do not offer legal advice.

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If you are on the journey of divorce and seeking professional, empathetic support, we are here to assist you. Reach out to us to discover how our services can be adapted to your unique needs, empowering you to make informed decisions for respectful and positive outcomes.

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