February is Divorce Month - Know Your Options

by Guest Blogger, Denise French, CRPC, CDFA

February is known as “Divorce Month” and kicks off what is known as “Divorce Season.” Do you know your divorce options?

The holidays are over; the decorations are down, and now it’s back to reality. Unfortunately, the truth is you and your spouse face another difficult, unhappy Valentine’s Day, which will likely be followed by another awkward, angry summer vacation. Then the holiday grind all over again.  You don’t want to do this another year. You had a terrible holiday season, and now you feel like you are starting this all over - and you just can’t do it anymore.

So, what do you do?

This is the time to do some soul-searching.

Realize the realities of divorce.  

You once loved your spouse; you chose this person for a reason.  Is there work you can do to rekindle that feeling? Feelings follow actions. If you can act again like you did when you were dating, your feelings will likely change.  Some people are willing to do this, and some aren’t.

Know that you are still tied to this person if you have children with them – forever.  

You won’t be married or live in the same home, but you will always share your children, you will still raise them together, be there for graduation day, see them get married, and be there when they have grandchildren – you just won’t do this together.

Still wanting a divorce?    

Then determine which action you think is best for you. Most people's default response is to call an attorney and start a war.  This is one of the most expensive divorce options.  There are other options.

Explore which option is best for your divorce.

You have the kitchen table approach, mediation, collaborative divorce, and litigation. Whatever you decide, take the time to do your research. Explore all your options, ask all your questions. You only have one chance to get this right. Be sure you secure your financial future after divorce.

Related post: Bridge the Divide: Negotiations in Mediation

Related post: Collaborative Divorce: The Benefits of using a Financial Neutral

About the Author

Denise French is the founder of the Divorce Strategies Group. She is a 21-year veteran financial professional, a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, a Chartered Retirement Planning Counselor, and a trained family and child custody mediator. Denise has the personal experience of walking through an ugly divorce in 2007 and overcoming many obstacles.  Now, as a remarried mother of 2 children and three stepchildren, Denise strives to help others walk through divorce with hope, encouragement, and strength.